Redefining Vulnerability

By: Sanah Jivani

Throughout this semester, I served as the full-time CEO of The Love Your Natural Self Foundation. We provide free mental wellness initiatives to communities around the nation through events, programming, and awareness campaigns.

This semester, my non-profit organization started an initiative called The Vulnerability Project. We created an interactive art gallery where people were invited to share their stories, open up, and define what it means to be vulnerable. There is power in being vulnerable, sharing your story, and asking for help.

The largest installation of this project was set up at Texas A&M, however, we hosted smaller local events surrounding the theme of vulnerability everywhere from Philadelphia to DC. I loved using this as a way to actively engage with the community. These events caused me to think deeply about the theme of vulnerability.

Simultaneously while hosting these events, I was a full-time student at The Graduate School of Education and The School of Social Policy and Practice. I was also filming Good Morning America, planning to share some of the most personal things about myself on national television. My life became centered around vulnerability.

When I started this project, I wanted to promote how positive vulnerability could be. I wanted to show people that being vulnerable means being brave, courageous, and strong. I framed vulnerability as a beautiful journey, both for others and for the sake of my own mental health.

However, when the first installation of the Vulnerability Project opened this semester, I quickly received a wake-up call. A part of the exhibit was asking participants, "What does vulnerability mean to you?" Although a few of the answers we received were positive, the majority of individuals answered with negative emotions. I remember reading through people's responses:

Vulnerability is shattering.

Vulnerability is terrifying.

Vulnerability is difficult.

As I read these words, I began to identify these emotions inside of myself. I felt shattered, and terrified, and lonely. At first, this was extremely disheartening. I was a week away from my story airing on Good Morning America and when I thought about my most personal stories airing on national television, I found it difficult to breathe.

I tried to frame vulnerability as a positive and beautiful concept. Admittedly, I didn't think about the challenges of vulnerability because I didn't want to recognize the negative emotions I was feeling. Ultimately, though, it is important to recognize that vulnerability isn't easy.

Vulnerability is connecting- But connecting with others meant first shattering my public image, and showing the world my points of weakness.

Vulnerability is brave- but being brave meant first being terrified, shaking as my story of self-harm aired on national television.

Vulnerability is strong- but being strong meant reflecting on the moments I felt most broken, realizing how difficult of a journey I've had to get to this point.

When you have the courage to be vulnerable, you can inspire vulnerability in others. It’s important to recognize, however, the full definition of vulnerability- both the beautiful parts and the parts that leave you feeling broken. Although these moments of weakness are sometimes hard to acknowledge, they are essential for healing and growing.